Kiss
Puke
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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