The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
