she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
