This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
