Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
