Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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