Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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