Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
