I'm gonna have a badass scar
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
