literally had 100 drinks last night.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
