there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
