Umm I'm too high to move.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
