how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
