actually, I'm a sock model
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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