it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
