i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am one with the molecules
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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