I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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