singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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