I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
