Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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