I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
