I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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