i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
