i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
