Got a toothbrush?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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