i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
