Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
