I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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