She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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