Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
