nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
