When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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