I'm drive I can fine osifer
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
