If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they need to just BURY HIM!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
