So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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