since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
