I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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