awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
