We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
