I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Let's get the cat blown out
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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