if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
