Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
