no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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