Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
