I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
