There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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