Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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