I wannas sexs uuuuu
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
