Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
