That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
