I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
